What Would It Take To Make You Give Up Gardening
Amy Stewart (who I admire a great deal) just wrote one of her wonderful posts on Garden Rant. Now, the reason I think it’s so wonderful is because it encapsulates what some of us go through every now and then and asks a very pertinent question.
It’s not that we don’t like what we do as writers. Far from it. It’s not that we don’t like our gardens – far from it.
But there’s a critical difference between doing something for a living and doing something out of passion as a hobby. And sometimes it can be difficult for the passionate to understand the viewpoint of the professional. This struck me this past week when, after chatting to a good friend and neighbor and visiting her superbly maintained garden (I should hire her to do my weeding!) we chatted about our respective gardens. Later in the week, she told the Princess she now understood that for her the garden was a passion, a release and a connection while I saw my garden more like a work event.
And we just had a small garden party at our place we called Year Zero – because this is the unadorned garden – the garden to-be as we begin landscaping in earnest. And I confess I didn’t worry about creating a perfectly weed-free area in the nursery beds or growing beds. It is what it is and while other gardeners fuss about with their open houses, it was “get the darn grass mowed and pour some wine” day for me. 
It’s only novel for the first million plants. After that it can become a bit ho-hum. 
But having said that…
After 30 years in the nursery business as a nurseryman and writer, the garden on a still morning is still balm to my soul. After 30 years, I still have the same urge to collect new plants, grow new things and create new gardens. But after 30 years, the desire to spend hours out there maintaining all those collections is clearly on the wane.
Which is why Amy’s question of what would it would take to make you give up gardening is such an interesting one for me.
I do love visiting major cities. I love spending time in coffee shops, art galleries and museums. The arts communities in the major cities are stimulating and diverse and there’s nothing like wandering around Manhattan, Toronto or Paris to get a sense of that.
But I couldn’t live there. I can happily, deliriously visit those place but only in short bursts. Turns out I’m a country boy and after the energy in the city gets too much, too intense, I find myself retreating inward – away from those hordes and bright lights. I love my solitude too much to give into the bright lights. But the Princess and I are actually moving to a city this winter (a very Southern city) to live the non-gardening life (not a darn flower will grace our deck or balcony) of galleries and writing for the winter months. So I’ll have to get back to you about this.
Frankly I love the idea of gracious living. Of being surrounded by plants and interesting people. Of taking the time to dine and converse. Of wandering around chewing at a new thought over wine with friends. Gracious living. And it includes a garden. But it may not include me doing all the grunt-work.
So I may not be interested in giving up the garden, the ideals around the garden but I’m clearly interested in passing on the grunt-labour it takes to keep my ideal garden maintained.
So for me, the answer to the question is that I can and do most of what I need or want to do right now. I get to stay in major cities, enjoy that lifestyle for the brief periods I can deal with them. Then I get to come home to our island-refuge, share life with good friends and my gardens. I can play around with my boats, my old sports car, my sculpture etc and there’s no need for an exotic locale. Life is good.
But what I need to do is figure out how to afford a full time gardener to maintain everything I want to build in my landscaping.
But as for the original question, “What would it take to make me give up gardening?” I’m still having trouble with it. I’d give up what I call the maintenance work in a heartbeat (that takes money) But I already have the lifestyle I want now so ….
I’ll get back to you when I win the lottery.
i garden for other people (slave girl…)and work in a retail business that specializes in selling ‘garden inspired’ stuff…so giving up gardening is not on the agenda…the advice i give my clients is: if you garden at all…you’ll never need prozac…and if you are enjoying it, you are doin’ it right..
i’ve seen comments in this vein many times in your blogs, doug, and i agree whole heartedly with ‘relax..’
you may need to align your expectations with reality, in respect to what you can do physically, or can afford to do, but in any case…DO something out there..its good for you..mind,body, and spirit..sounds corny..but true..armstrong weeding beats the air conditioned gym hands down…
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO MAKE ME GIVE UP GARDENING? Much more than I thought it would. I have gardened all my life – until Behcets, which is a autoimmune illness . I was diagnosed more than three years ago and it is a crushing illness. Total exhaustion, eye surgeries, lesions etc. For a while I just couldn’t do it. In hospitals I would study each leaf and flower delivered to me. Placing the in “my mind” the gardens at my home. Yet, I take total pride this year at my PB I gardened one day last week for 3 hours in a row before I had to go in. In spite of being on chemo twice a day, seven days a week for 3 years and many more pills, and I have to garden from a wheelchair now. Give it up? NO
@E ileen Wilson -
Now – *that’s* determination and an inspiration to us all. A good friend also gardens through seriously poor health and it is her lifeline to the world. It’s not something I’ve ever experienced and I doubt we who have been blessed with good health can appreciate the depth of this kind of meaning in your life. What a great note to make me think about both my own life and my garden. Thanks for sharing that thought…
@cheryl -
Oh yeah, I’m not giving up gardening or the maintenance of it – it is great physical therapy and as one of the folks who was at our Year Zero garden party put it – it took me 3 days to drop the weight from that party. Good fitness for both body, mind and soul. But there are indeed days…
Death
John
@John at JWLW -
Well – that’s clear and to the point.
Even though I’m lucky to have help with garden maintenance (weeding, mulching, edging), I’m still the head gardener, which means I’m the one going around noting all that needs to be done on our 10 acres. And I do all the mowing myself at the moment, plus I still bend over when I see a weed (which is every time I go outside).
I’d be relieved to give it up, but at the moment I love living here, and the work is the price we pay for the privacy of the park-like setting we’ve created. Once we can’t afford as many hours of help (when my husband retires in four years), hard decisions will have to be made. I have really never enjoyed grunt work, but I have to admit that it plays a big role in keeping me fit.
Doug: That is the point, I have been Gardening since I was about 10 now I am 70 and still going, Its what keeps me going. I garden inside during the winter outside all year and at our place in Florida when we are in Florida.
Have a Great Evening,
John
I am just like the other gardeners. My garden is my physical and mental health. I would only give it up if I could not do it because of physical problems. I told my son I would be digging at 80. He makes fun of my proclamation but who cares. I am only 60.
I did it. I gave up gardening for 4 years when I went back for a masters while working 50 hrs a week. It was wonderful for the first 2 years, I was so engrossed in the “garden of my mind” that I really didn’t miss it. Then the slow creep of routine hit the uni work while I started to long for the quiet meditation of weeding.
Now I’m back in the garden, and slowly recovering the fitness I lost during those 4 years. Fitness slides away quickly when you are past 50, alas.
Back in the garden? Well, that understates it, actually. I just bought a 10 acre farm and as soon as I finish polishing the garden in my current SF-area home, it’s going on the market and I’m going into early “retirement” with the farm as my gym. I expect to be much stronger on my 60th birthday!
I love gardening and would not give it up even if I did strike it rich. As you say Doug’s it’s very therapeutic and relaxing. I enjoy spending the time outside and doing something that I enjoy.
@Hayden -
10 acres is enough to be very fit – just ask Yvonne. 
Good luck with that fitness programme
@Joseph Goldstein -
Yeah – but kids like to make fun of their parents- no matter the age and besides – what do they know?
@Yvonne Cunnington -
and a simple urban backyard. I do believe my garden helps keep me fit but like your better half, I bought a tractor with loader because there’s only so much “fit” my back will take. 
Right – I hear you. And there is a difference in quality of life when you’re a pro with that amazing garden of yours (way too big -even by my ambitious standards)