Doug versus Dog
We’re puppy-sitting for daughter #1 and in the process, I’m learning quite a bit about the difference between a Doug and a Dog. On the surface of course there’s a single vowel separating the two of us. But that is only the tip of the iceberg.
If we look a bit further, it can be quickly seen that I’m a heck of a lot bigger than this Old English Sheepdog puppy (5-months) but she has significantly more hair. This puppy has hair where I’ve only ever dreamed of having hair and that’s about as far down that road as we need to go.
But beyond the obvious, we run into the really significant differences:
When a Doug comes into the house, he’s expected to put his boots immediately into the cupboard.
When a Dog comes into the house, she gets a cursory wipe of the paws and gushed over because she looks so cute all covered in snow.
When a Doug carries armload after armload of fireplace wood into the house, he’s considered messy when a bit of bark or dirt gets loose in front of the hearth.
When a Dog picks up one stick, chews it to bits and leaves the newly created mulch across the living room, she’s cute.
When a Doug doesn’t put his stuff away or shirts in the laundry, it can become a problem.
When a Dog leaves plushy toys, chewy toys, and squeaky toys strategically located in every room of the house, it’s considered good planning.
When a Doug hasn’t had a shower or shaved in the morning, he’s not considered cute.
When a Dog presents a slobbery, soaking-wet plushy toy onto the lap for playful consideration, she’s considered cute.
When a Doug wants a quick kiss… (see above)
When a Dog wants to lick ears, faces with a tongue that has just been goodness-knows-where, it’s loving.
When a Doug decides to get up really, really early – it’s not so cute if the better half is disturbed.
When a Dog decides to sleep in the bedroom, jangling dogtags and snuffling at any body part within 2-feet of the edge of the bed, it’s cute (and forgiven)
When a Doug goes out for a walk in sub-zero temperatures, he considers a half hour walk a marathon.
When a Dog goes out for a walk in sub-zero temperatures, a half hour is a mere warmup for the main event.
Doug stands up better on ice but will hurt more when he falls.
Dog and puppy paws are not built for wrestling on ice-covered ponds.
Doug throws sticks.
Dog chases sticks and chews them.
Doug doesn’t get sympathy from family when he complains about this mistreatment.
Dog gets instant sympathy when she picks up a burr.
They didn’t call it “A Doug’s Life”.
Frankly, I find it simply amazing what a difference this single vowel can make in your life.
Really cute comparison of the presence or lace thereof of a “u”. (Pssst: 5th line from the bottom need to have the “u” removed) Don’t you hate it when an editor reads your blog.
Old English Sheepdogs start as a ball of fur and seem to stay that way most of their lives. Nice dogs.
Wonderful observations.
You have some serious work to do on your cuteness, by the sounds of it!
@Coneflower – we always had OES at the farm – they raised all 4 of our kids for us so this problem of “cuteness” isn’t a strange one for me – been there.
@Ann – well, I’ve always thought I was doing tolerably well on the “cuteness factor”
but the comparison is a bit tough at the moment.
Doug doesn’t leave hair all over the carper, sofa, etc.
Doug could probably dig better holes in the garden.
Gosh Doug, guess I cannot help you much. Anyway, take a look at this and enjoy.
http://www.maniacworld.com/dog-having-a-blast-in-the-snow.html
Hi there Doug
I left a comment on this post a few days ago, but being a new boy at this blogging business I’m not confident I succeeded, especially as it hasn’t yet appeared.
I enjoyed your clever creation about dogs. It reminded me of a pub sign I saw and photographed a few years ago in Scotland.
I love your blog and your websites. Just registered to receive your newsletters (from a different email).
All the best for a successful and happy year.
Bricky
@Bricky – it probably didn’t get approved because it had some links in it. Just like this post that I’ve edited out the links. I tend to do that until I know the readers and know they’re not just hunting for inbound links. I do allow other links from regular readers – call it editorial decision-making.
HI Doug, & [dog lover's out there-outdoor's too] An small, dog like your’s, is an envy to me, for I hear they are sooo much easier to hand, & clean up, [if u know what I mean], well..easier on the garden too. But, not so lucky here, the marriage has gone on long enough to enjoy 3 meaningful, Dalmations [mind you-liver spotted], is brown spot’s, as in ‘down right gorgeous’. Averaging about 14 years, not presently there yet, on the brown cuff of it.
This guy, Max….from the OT-Valley, Winchester area, Richard Lemaire Famous Champion-Dal’s Eh. But this an nice of breed, unfortuneately came with an 2 folly’s, I was warned, he was an early riser, to my chagrin-ignored that until it was too late, forgiven…but we do see the rising sun. Tthe other, came with very expensive Vet bill’s, for skin sensitivity, allergies seem’s, like were ‘vented here’, on us, in maintenance, we do.
To make it easier on all, as the so-called story goes, as well as insistent ‘lawn cinch bug’s', both derelict-in-spoiling my ‘best kept lawns’, as well his severity to et al. Slowly, but surely, an decade of reduce, reduce, the lawn sizing, and his thereby allergy/allergic serious skin canine problems. Conversely, in the garden, it all replaced, with more and more bushes, perennials, tree’s, border’s, and path’s, path’s, and more path’s, to yes, [keep the dog off the grass].
The dog, [an working dog really], is smarter than I, some guests, actually think they get LOST here, he never get’s lost, doesn’t even want to come back. Mostly, He, this Max…stay’s on the path, and what are these path’s.
Well, they are ‘Tryptich Path’s', made of various and sundry, ‘reclaimed cobble-stones, patio stones, granite’, discarded about and over time and place, at hardly any expense. It’s amazing what, with ‘rampant house re-construction’, these decades…what people, contractor’s toss away, and even bring them to you.
Consequently, we have multiple ‘stone path’s everywhere’, many ‘dead-ending’, in an corner to meditate, or something to head-off lost critters-the way.
Even in tumultous rain, or snow…’here’ you don’t get your feet dirty…we wear out, broom’s, and splash away the dust and dirt….it’ remains the cleanest garden, north of the TTC, or Hogg’s Hollow.
Max, goes ‘bare feet’, and think’s He Has it made, but I STILL HAVE TO GET DOWN, AND DIRTY, to maintain the garden, joyfully et al.
I wouldn’t have it any other way, “reclamation”…is the best game, meanwhile….this is the ‘dog’s life around here’, He Has It Made. He came to the ‘right place’, this working dog you say, this ‘dog don’t hunt’. Have an good day eh!