2 Things about Poinsettia

I think this is “that” column. The one where I tell you how to either kill or save your poinsettia because it just seems too nice to toss away. It seems that a column like this is obligatory; much like writing about not planting too early in the spring or your tomatoes will get frosted. I mean, if we haven’t figured out by now that frost is going to kill a tomato, what chance do we have with keeping poinsettia alive? You either want to do it or you don’t.

There are only two things to know

There are only two things you need to know about admitting a poinsettia into your house. Either you want to keep it alive or you don’t care if it dies. So we know that if you don’t care, you really don’t have to read this article. Let the thing dry out and wither away, toss it in the compost and move on. Life is too short to worry about a red-bract plant on steroids.

On the other hand

On the other hand, if you want to keep it alive there are really only two things you need to make decisions about. Are you going to keep it alive for Christmas and then get rid of it or are you really going to keep it alive and try for a reblooming. Now, if you’re going to keep it alive for Christmas, then all you have to do is keep it slightly damp, out of drafts and in as much sunlight as you can. That should keep it alive for the next few weeks and then right after Christmas, you can compost it and return it to the soil from which it sprang.

Rebloom?

But, if you want to try to keep it alive and get it to rebloom, there are only two things you have to consider. Are you serious about only giving it natural light for the next 12 months along with feeding, watering, pruning, and moving it indoors/outdoors and fighting off whitefly armies. If the answer to this question is an introspective, “No, I’m really not going to do all those things” then your decision is an easy one. See the paragraph immediately above and simply enjoy the plant.

Light?

On the other hand, if you decide you’re serious about keeping this plant alive, then there are only two things you need to make decisions about. Do I have a full southern exposure or do I not have a full light area. If you don’t have a full light area so you can mimic this plant’s native Mexican light levels, then I suggest you see paragraph three above and simply enjoy the plant. If you do happen to have a full light area, are committed to making the plant live for an entire year, then we can move on to, surprisingly enough, to understanding that there are only two choices you have to make.

You’ve committed to keeping the plant alive and healthy. Giving it full sunlight and watering it properly (water when the soil dries and allow it to dry out slightly between waterings), feeding it with half-strength fertilizer for the summer and then ramping up to regular doses when the light levels improve. You’re keeping the plant out of the draft and generally setting up a place in your house that will resemble the climate of Mexico. You only have two choices then. Do I take the plant with me on my summer vacation or do I not? If you decide to pamper the plant this means making sure it is taken care of year round. If you can’t do this, then please see paragraph three.

Pruning?

If we’re pampering the plant, there are only two questions to answer. Are you prepared to really, seriously prune this plant at the end of August and early September or are you a shy person when it comes to whacking plants back. A poinsettia develops the red bracts on the ends of new growth so if you’re not prepared to whack it back, make it bush out and force it to develop new coloured bracts, then once again I suggest you see paragraph three. If you are prepared to whack it back, then you only have two choices to make.

Light bulbs?

Are you prepared to never turn on a light bulb in the room where this plant lives or are you going to insist on seeing in this room? At the risk of being boring, let me tell you that artificial light of any kind will stop the plant from turning red. Even a second of artificial light will set it back a few days. Enough seconds and you’ll never see a bloom. And no, putting it into a closet for the entire fall will not bring it into bloom. It requires full sunlight but a decreasing (naturally-so) amount of it. So if you like seeing in your house after dark, then please see paragraph 3. On the other hand, if you’re committed to unscrewing the bulbs in every fixture in the poinsettia-room, then there are only two things you need to worry about.

Sane or Crazy?

Whether you’re sane or whether you’re crazy. Frankly, if you haven’t already chosen paragraph 3 above, then the answer to that question is becoming more and more obvious by the paragraph. If you’re still with me and want to try to keep this bit of gaudy horticultural breeding alive, then all I can say is you’re some crazed gardener, looking to never, ever admit defeat with a plant. You’re joining a club of similarly afflicted folks who simply can’t bear to toss out a plant under any circumstances. People who will grow a poinsettia for years and years without ever seeing a bloom again but who do so on the odd chance the plant will respond. People who will grow outdoor plants far out of their zone. People who don’t know the meaning of the words, “Can’t grow it here.”

Welcome to the club.